Thankful?

I am thankful for so many things, but today, tonight, it avoids my grasp. And the minute, I finished that sentence, this voice in my head said, "What!?#@ You're healthy, you're strong, it's a beautiful world. What do you have to complain about?"

Why do we all diminish our own worries, fears, problems, because there are people out there who are worse off? No matter who you are, no matter how bad it is, there's someone who has it worse. It's like the contest to be the prettiest, the best, the most talented, the most celebrated person on the planet? There's always going to be someone prettier, more talented, more acclaimed. Does that mean your plight, your situation isn't important? Of course not. My point is: Sometimes we're allowed to care about ourselves, aren't we? Sometimes we're allowed to be "all about me"!

These words, mind you, are said by someone who spends 95% of her time taking care of everybody else. Does everyone have enough to eat? Are you too warm? Here, let me turn the air-conditioning on. Are you too cold? Can I get you a sweater? Do you need my car, my money, my love, my left arm? Funny, I know, but it's true. Sometimes I think that kind of "unselfishness" is just another form of martyrdom, not feeling good enough, dancing on your tiptoes until someone says, "Hey, you, let me take care of you, let me do what you need".

I am, though, truly sorry, truly saddened by a world that seems to have given up on itself. Then I read M.D.O.D. - check out their blog at http://docsontheweb.blogspot.com/ - and I am stopped dead in my tracks. Poor choice of words :) But, really, who are these guys? They are amazing. They may, in fact, save each and every one of us.

I will try to write more tomorrow; I am going to become a disciplined individual, exercise every day, eat right, and write to purge my soul.